The guest
Shane Gillis, Mark Normand & Ari Shaffir: Stand-up comedians and recurring panelists on Joe Rogan's drunken 'Protect Our Parks' roundtable episodes.
What this episode covers
The ninth installment of the 'Protect Our Parks' series, recorded in Austin with comedians Shane Gillis, Mark Normand and Ari Shaffir while the group drinks beers and bong hits on a timer. There is no real topic; the conversation free-associates from microplastics and fluoride to medieval hygiene, the Donner Party, the Comanche, World War II battles, octopuses and hippos. Long stretches are pure comedic riffing and conspiracy-theory mockery (Michelle Obama, the Maui fire, swastika history). It closes with a marathon of clips: Lynyrd Skynyrd's Freebird, James Brown live, and a long drunken argument over whether Tom Cruz is the greatest movie star.
Recommended on this episode
BookRecommendedISBN verified
Empire of the Summer Moon
S.C. Gwynne
“amazing book”
“the summer Moon amazing book but they just gave these people these ranches and didn't tell them”— Joe Rogan
MediaRecommended
30 Days of Night
“one of the dopest vampire movies ever; this movie rules”
“one of the dopest vampire movies ever yeah let me hear 30 days days don't get me started on hard dude”— Shane Gillis
MediaRecommended
Happy People: A Year in the Taiga
Werner Herzog
“it's a amazing Werner Herzog documentary”
“have you guys ever seen that documentary Happy People life in the tigga nope oh my God it's a amazing wner Herzog documentary”— Joe Rogan
MediaRecommended
Attack the Block
“Attack the Block rules”
“we need a good alien movie Attack the Block who Attack the Block rules what aliens attack black people yeah”— Shane Gillis
MediaRecommended
Vice
“one of my favorite; it's so good”
“Vice VI is one of my favorite great uh great dick I saw in the theater dude it's so good”— Ari Shaffir
MediaRecommended
Walk the Line
“Walk the Line is pretty amazing”
“walk the line is pretty great you know what I don't think there's a number one Walk the Line is pretty amazing”— Mark Normand
MediaRecommended
Free Bird
Lynyrd Skynyrd
“greatest guitar solo of all time”
“greatest guitar solo of all time you know where it comes this is video titled the only the best part of Freebird”— Ari Shaffir
ProductRecommended
Clover coffee machine
Starbucks
“it literally makes a perfect cup of coffee; they were Sensational”
“it's called a clover machine that's right so this machine you pour the grinds in there and it literally makes a perfect cup of coffee”— Joe Rogan
Also referenced (named, not recommended)
BookReferenced
Countdown
Shanna Swan
“there's a woman who wrote this book called uh countdown her name is shanana Swan she's a a doctor from Harvard”— Joe Rogan
BookReferenced
Drug Use for Grown-Ups: Chasing Liberty in the Land of Fear
Carl Hart
“he's detailed his drug use in a new book titled drug use for grown-ups chasing Liberty in the land of fear”— Joe Rogan
BookReferenced
The Great Mortality
John Kelly
“a book called The Great mortality by John Kelly I was looking at is crazy the king of England showered three times in three months”— Mark Normand
BookReferencedISBN verified
The Indifferent Stars Above
Daniel James Brown
“did you read that book on the the indifferent stars above no we were just nearby there oh really all the history is everywhere”— Ari Shaffir
BookReferenced
The Immortality Key
Brian Muraresku
“this is what Brian M rescue's book uh the immortality key about so we go to this place where they invented democracy”— Joe Rogan
MediaReferenced
Grizzly Man
Werner Herzog
“Grizzly Man unintentional comedy of all time hey just hug wild bears your life will be great”— Joe Rogan
MediaReferenced
Napoleon
Ridley Scott
“the Napoleon trailer put on the Napoleon trailer I haven't seen the trailer bonart you haven't seen it oh I've been rock hard for Napoleon”— Joe Rogan
ProductReferenced
LifeStraw
“there's a thing that people drink out of ponds with it's like a camel back thing LifeStraw that's it you suck through the filter”— Joe Rogan
ProductReferenced
Zyn
“my buddy was doing a Zin I go let me try one of these put it in shroomed my face off it like kicked it up”— Shane Gillis
ProductReferenced
Garmin watch
Garmin
“it's a Garmin this thing has a GPS so the CIA can track me measures your heart rate but it doesn't work on me because I have tattoos”— Ari Shaffir
ProductReferenced
Brita filter
Brita
“those brittas are filthy brda filters keep a healthy level of fluoride what oh god they do not remove fluoride”— Joe Rogan
ProductReferenced
Oatly
“comparing one of those oatly one of those oat milk things they said they're the same glycemic index as Coca-Cola”— Mark Normand
ProductReferenced
Black Rifle Coffee
Black Rifle Coffee Company
“my friend Evan who owns Black Rifle coffee like they they measure their coffee they like measure the temperature of the water”— Joe Rogan
Big reveals from this episode
- Joe lays out Shanna Swan's research that phthalates in plastics shrink the taint, penis and testicles, drop sperm counts and feminize male mammals and humans.
- They recount the story of a lone FDA official allegedly locked in a hotel before OxyContin was approved as 'believed to be non-addictive,' the first use of that language.
- Discussion of Columbia professor Dr. Carl Hart openly using heroin while a tenured scientist and arguing for decriminalization.
- Joe explains how the Comanche dominated the plains until the Colt revolver let the Texas Rangers turn the tide (Empire of the Summer Moon).
- Joe explains the Salem witch trials may have been caused by ergot-poisoned grain producing LSD-like hallucinations.
- Joe asserts horses evolved in North America, went extinct there, then were reintroduced by Europeans after 1492.
- The story of James Brown insisting he go on before the Rolling Stones and opening the Ali-Foreman fight in Zaire.
Worth remembering
- Studies cited show a significant inverse relationship between fluoride concentration in drinking water and IQ.
- Claim that the average person consumes roughly a credit card's worth of plastic per week.
- In 'The Great Mortality,' the King of England bathing three times in three months was considered a scandal.
- King Henry VIII's court relocated among 60 residences because palaces filled up with accumulated human waste.
- Around 2,500 Americans died on D-Day at Omaha Beach and the wider Normandy landings.
- The Battle of Kursk is estimated to have caused around 800,000 Soviet and 200,000 German casualties.
- Joe Theismann reportedly changed the pronunciation of his name so it would rhyme with 'Heisman.'
- The earliest horse ancestor, the fox-sized 'dawn horse' (Eohippus), lived in North American forests around 55 million years ago.
- Canada holds about 318 billion trees (roughly 30% of the world's forests), while Russia has around 640 billion.
- Hitler is believed to have had an undescended testicle and a rare condition called penile hypospadias.
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