Alex Scott: Former Arsenal and England footballer (140 caps) turned BBC broadcaster and pundit, author of the memoir How (Not) to Be Strong.
What this episode covers
Alex Scott tells Steven Bartlett the full story of growing up in East London with an abusive, alcoholic father whose 'dark side' controlled the household until he left when she was seven. She describes football as her childhood escape, her struggle with a speech impediment, and how unaddressed trauma followed her into a successful broadcasting career, eventually surfacing as a breakdown and a diagnosis of functional depression. She recounts the relentless racist and sexist online abuse and death threats she faced as the BBC's first female pundit, and how it pushed her toward therapy. Throughout, she frames her new memoir as an act of love intended to finally free her mother from the past.
The guest's own work
How (Not) to Be Strong
Alex Scott
“why am I talking about this in a book or you know it's been hard for all this like I've hidden it how long up till now”— Alex Scott
Also referenced (named, not recommended)
Bear Grylls: The Island
Bear Grylls
“I did a TV show Bear Grylls and that was the first time I knew I was ready to retire from football I was surrounded by different people”— Alex Scott
Strictly Come Dancing
BBC
“I was doing strictly in 2019 and I got to Blackpool strictly was like this bubble of happiness that at a stage I'm like I just needed it”— Alex Scott
Rocketman
Dexter Fletcher
“I remember crying in the movie theater because there was a part in that that I was like geez that's how I feel there was a part um Elton John”— Alex Scott
Game of Thrones
HBO
“I sat here with Maisie Williams and she she'd been through a lot when she was younger Maisie Williams from Game of Thrones the the actor”— host
Big reveals from this episode
- Her father left when she was seven, and she could feel the controlling, fearful home environment from as young as two or three years old.
- As a child she would lie awake during the abuse, just hoping her mother was still alive.
- After her grandmother's sudden death, her mother found the strength to make Alex and her brother choose between living with mum or dad on the spot.
- A documentary doctor told her she had been a 'functional depressive,' something she hadn't understood about herself.
- She was drinking every night to numb herself, repeating the alcohol patterns of her father and uncle.
- The online abuse escalated into death threats, leaving her anxious about going home alone.
- She last truly spoke to her father in 2017 at her nan's funeral; in 2019 he only texted asking for Strictly tickets for his friends.
- Her deepest fear is her mother leaving this world without ever experiencing happiness.
Worth remembering
- Alex was born in 1984 and grew up in East London.
- A local 'football cage' was her safe space and the place she first connected with football and community.
- A speech impediment meant she couldn't speak well for years; she still cannot say certain words like 'cinnamon.'
- Football let her travel the world, including flights to China she never imagined as a kid.
- She earned a media degree while still playing for Arsenal to prepare for broadcasting.
- She turned down a two-year Arsenal contract in 2018 with no broadcasting job lined up, trusting her gut.
- She became the first female pundit for the BBC at the 2018 World Cup.
- Sporting Chance connected her with the therapist who helped her, after a first random therapy attempt failed.
- She ends the memoir with a letter to her mother that she found difficult to read aloud for the audiobook.
- She is dyslexic and struggled with school, yet wrote the book herself on her laptop.