Dr. Orion Taraban: A California-licensed clinical psychologist specializing in modern dating and relationships, host of the PsycHacks YouTube channel, and author of 'The Value of Others.' He began his career as an actor in New York before focusing his private practice on men's mental health.
What this episode covers
Steven Bartlett interviews Dr. Orion Taraban about what he calls a relationship crisis: fewer people are dating, marrying, hooking up, or reproducing, driven partly by dating apps and pornography. Taraban frames relationships as an economic exchange of value in a 'sexual marketplace,' arguing that attraction is a marketing problem most people can improve. He breaks down male and female challenges, seduction as directing attention, the role of pornography and OnlyFans as economic substitutes for sex, and how AI may deepen that trap. The conversation closes on his core thesis from his book: give people what they need and want, be honest about your own value, and stop relying on 'fluffy' substitutes.
The guest's own work
The Value of Others: Understanding the Economic Model of Relationships to Get (and Keep) More of What You Want in the Sexual Marketplace
Orion Taraban
“what is the the most important thing from your book the value of others understanding the economic model of relation ships to get and keep more of what you want in the sexual Marketplace”— Orion Taraban
Also referenced (named, not recommended)
OnlyFans
OnlyFans
“only fans is a fantastic ftic way for women to transact their sexual relation opportunity for resources in a safe convenient and easy way”— Orion Taraban
Starlink
SpaceX
“I read an article recently where starlink was brought to some remote tribe in the Amazon and a month later the guys were addicted to porn”— Orion Taraban
Victoria's Secret
Victoria's Secret
“it's part of the reason why there are that places like Victoria's Secret exist you know what I'm saying it's like 21y old girls aren't shopping there”— Orion Taraban
Big reveals from this episode
- Claims America is below population replacement rate and only avoids decline due to immigration; warns severe population collapse could destabilize society.
- States online-initiated relationships rose 250% in a decade while overall relationships sharply declined, suggesting dating apps drove a 'catastrophic decline.'
- Argues women genuinely want kindness and safety, but only from men they're already attracted to, the part he says women 'leave out.'
- Contends civilization is 'built on the repression of the libido' and that freely available porn drains men's drive to take pro-social risks.
- Predicts a near-future 'Blade Runner' scenario of customizable holographic AI girlfriends as a porn-like trap for men.
- Says he's not a fan of compromise, calling it 'two people not getting what they want,' favoring selection and explicit selfishness instead.
- Uses his own producer Jack on-mic to demonstrate that professional relationships are fundamentally about money, masked for dignity's sake.
- Personally reveals that overcoming the fear of extending forgiveness in family estrangements was a key emotional turning point in his life.
Worth remembering
- Japan is described as past its demographic curve, heading toward one worker supporting over two citizens.
- Taraban claims being the best-dressed man in a room earns 'one free point,' something men can buy with two or three good outfits while women may spend tens of thousands on surgery for the same.
- Cites the claim that the top 10% of men are having most of the sex, calling it the 'end state of a dysregulated sexual marketplace.'
- Notes ~85% of human cultures have been polygamous, and when free to choose, women target the top 10% of men.
- Quotes divorce lawyer James Sexton: men and women signed up 'for better or for worse, but not for lunch.'
- Argues 'having an office has kept more marriages alive than probably any other intervention,' because absence preserves mystery.
- Frames OnlyFans as letting the average woman more easily get $1 from a million men than $1 million from one man.
- Describes the NYU 'game of please/no' acting exercise he calls the fundamental game of all human relationships.
- Claims 'the best dating app in the world is not a dating app, it's Instagram.'
- Defines manhood as having 'a spine and a pair' standing for something and bearing the consequences.